A fork, a fork, my kingdom for a fork

I know it is going to sound culturally insensitive, but I am not down with the whole eating with your hands thing. One of the other guesthouse occupants presented an argument that eating with your hands, or at very most a spoon, makes sense because of the greater use of gravies and flatbread (chapati, nan, etc.) in India cuisine. I have given it some thought and I don’t buy it. Here is why:

• Germs, Germs, Germs: Hands are used for everything, even in an office environment your hands come in contact with a host of common items that can carry germs. From door knobs to keyboards to copy machines, unless you work in an ISO 14644 Class 5 Cleanroom your office has germs!
• Hand not optimal the optimal tool for the job: My hands are rounded, lack stabbing ability and are generally not as well designed for the conveyance of food from plate to mouth. If they were, utensils would not have been invented (anywhere).
• Neutral if not negative impact on efficiency: More hand washing required leading to elimination of efficiency gain from not having to wash utensils. Obviously, if you are going to eat with your hands, you wash them both before and after. At least in the office environment this is the practice. I am hopeful that it is more widespread.

The hand vs. utensil debate came to a head today when I was presented with a chicken leg(drumstick + thigh) in green sauce accompanied by the optional mini plastic sugar spoon. After starring at the saucy chicken for a while and making a few attempts at stabbing it with my tiny ineffectual plastic spade, I cracked and asked for utensils. A fork and knife were summoned from a distant land (upstairs closet) and order and harmony were restored.